just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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