It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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