they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
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