We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
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we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
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You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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