Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Randomize
