I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
