she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
