I look better un-naked...
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Randomize
