his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
You have to summon your inner elephant
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
