I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
