Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
