is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize