I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize