it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
