A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
