On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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