I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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