i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize