The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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