Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
