She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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