i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
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