P.S. I can't hear my feet
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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