Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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