So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
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