u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
