weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
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I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
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Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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