Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
