just come out here and I will go home with you...
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
