I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
