Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize