Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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