she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
