do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
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