Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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