i permit you to call me
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Ketchup is God's man juice
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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