you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
And then my night got REAL pukey
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
