Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
