if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
