does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
