I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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