I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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