So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
