ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
The air taste purple.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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