I wish my penis had an off switch
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
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