My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize