So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
