I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
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