Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
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