Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Someone shit on the floor
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
i now understand why vodka
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
