i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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