i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I wish they made helmets for livers.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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