I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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