you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
