Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
