I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
