i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
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