The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Randomize
