so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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