I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Randomize
