when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
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The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
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I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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