it glows. i had to have it.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
