and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
