Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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