he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
